When It’s Ok to Talk About Your Kids on Date Night

Once you have kids you start to hear how important it is for you to take time to connect as a couple – make sure you don’t loose that spark. Totally true. One thing all the experts say (including us) is when you are on date night, don’t talk about your kids. Great advice. But, at Sitter, we’re also realists. We know that it’s not possible to stay away from the topic of kids 100% of the time. Sometimes, it’s ok to go ahead and talk about your kids when you are on date night.

Here are some times when it’s ok:

1. Maybe one of the kids is being an asshole. Clearly, you can’t talk about them at home in front of them. By the time they fall asleep, you are too exhausted to talk to your spouse about the struggle. Date night gives you the perfect opportunity to share – ok, complain about – how difficult your sweet little nugget is being. Parenting is tough. Having the opportunity to vent to someone who understands – and doesn’t charge $125/hour to listen – is a blessing.
2. Maybe they are not being an asshole, but they probably have a quirk or two that drives you nuts. Get it out in the open. Talk and laugh about how insane they are. A sense of humor is critical when you’re raising kids. It will bring you closer as a couple to know that both of you have had a part in creating this quirky kid.
3. Your kid did something absolutely extraordinary like win a Nobel Peace Prize or maybe he went into his preschool classroom without screaming and crying and kicking. We give you the green light to go out, celebrate, and discuss how awesome you are as parents.
4. Your kiddo discovered how to call you from the home phone and they call in the middle of date night. It looks a little something like this: Your phone rings at dinner. You panic when you see it’s a call from “Home”. OMG. It must be bad because the sitter is calling instead of texting. You pick up frantically, “What’s wrong? Who’s hurt?” Only to be greeted on the other end by, “Hi, Mom! Johnny isn’t being a good listener. Sally put him in time out after he threw his pizza crust across the room when she asked him to clean up his plate.” Oh, thank god. Crisis averted but date night conversation diverted. That’s ok. Breathe a sense of relief together, then get back to your adult conversation.

Let’s be honest,  you love those little buggers more than anything. Your spouse does too. It’s only natural that they will creep into the conversation. So, don’t feel too bad for discussing them a little bit. But, make sure you don’t spend the entire night talking about them. Change up the topic.  If you’re just too tired from all the monsters under the bed and midnight feedings to think of what to say, then check out our conversation starters – topics meant to divert conversation away from life on the homefront.